Love is a feeling that is a fundamental part of human existence and a primary component of our experience in this planet. For love there is no end or limit, it’s all-encompassing. As a result it can be easy to mistake love for being about material things. However, love can also have spiritual dimensions as well. When we talk about love it’s important to remember that it transcends material and spiritual elements, it’s ultimately about the good experience that happens when love is fully present.
There are several common pitfalls people fall into when they wish to express love on a regular basis. Often the number one mistake that people make when they are trying to express love in a relationship is that they will try to force the relationship to work through their issues instead of allowing the love to grow freely. This can be problematic, not just for the person who are in a relationship, but for everyone involved. If love is to truly express itself, then acceptance of self and others should be a basic, universal goal. Far too often, though, people struggle with this concept because they are more interested in maintaining the status quo in their relationships rather than allowing love to emerge naturally and freely.
Acceptance is one of the most basic, powerful, and effective skills we can learn. In relationships, accepting another person, yourself, and your own thoughts and emotions is critical to creating positive emotions and real change. Far too often, though, a sense of fear or uncertainty grips us when we are faced with a new relationship or conflict. We resist the opportunities to grow, explore, and accept ourselves because those are the things that we fear. Instead, we run in circles, cling to our partner, or react emotionally based on previous experiences.
The third of the three common pitfalls people fall into when they express love is sending the same message each time. The message is clear, “I love you,” but often the message is repeated in a way that makes the recipient question whether they really do love you. Insecurity and doubt creep in as we continue to send the message. Yet there must be an awareness at work that we aren’t actually presenting the message all the time, so a sense of uncertainty can creep in. Even if we aren’t presenting the message all the time, a good quality time will help clear the air and allow us to consider what we are actually conveying. The message still needs to be presented in a way that is honest and true.
The fourth of the three common pitfalls is using the same phraseology over to communicate with others. For example, if I am trying to express my appreciation for a gift my spouse has sent, I may say something like, “I really appreciate the time you took to make such an exceptional gift for me.” People often have trouble translating that sort of comment into their native tongues, unless they’ve encountered similar phrasing before. Yet it’s not uncommon for a spouse to receive that kind of comment from someone else without ever taking the time to explain what they meant by it. That sort of communication barrier can lead to miscommunication and even hurt feelings.
The fifth of the triumvirate of common pitfalls is saying, “You know what I mean?” That sort of comment is a sure way to end a conversation or leave the person feeling uncertain about how they are expected to respond to your expression of love. It’s one way that partners who don’t speak much often can inadvertently let down one another by not communicating their feelings clearly. If you are communicating your love in those ways, your partner will feel closer to you and more inclined to open up to you in return.