Love Styles – Identifying Your Love Language

Love is the feeling that we have for another person, a pure and unconditional kind of attachment which takes place between two individuals, a person and his/her spouse. Love embraces a whole range of positive and strong psychological and emotional states, from the deepest personal virtue or ideal, the strongest interpersonal love, to the easiest pure joy. It is the state of total bonding involving two persons, with whom love dedicates its energy, time and effort to develop and raise to the next level of existence. According to recent scientific research, love in its most profound sense can be defined as a divine, eternal force that unites our human essence and spirit.


Most of us are familiar with a few of the characteristics of this mysterious force, including our personal likes and dislikes, preferences, personality traits, cognitive abilities and interests. It is also commonly known that love makes people act in a self-generating manner, generating positive feelings within their brains. The conscious and subconscious aspects of the brain work in tandem with each other, each influencing and encouraging the other to develop and intensify the other’s characteristic. This brain activity is further coordinated by the physiological processes within the body. There are numerous examples of ways love influences the brain, ranging from its effects during sleep, dreams and waking hours, to its effect on the physical and mental health, and how it can affect a person’s daily living.

When a person is in love, the brain’s primary reward system (known as the reward pathway) becomes more activated and active. The reward pathway generates positive emotions (including euphoria, happiness, satisfaction, and elation), which then become engrained in the person’s memory. The more consistent the positive emotions experienced, the more the brain tends to adhere to these patterns and behaviors and be even more receptive to them. In addition, according to recent studies, love includes a variety of positive emotions such as motivation, trust, competence, social support, and achievement, which are transmitted to others through verbal and non-verbal communications.

Because love involves emotions, it is often coupled with lust or the desire for another person, which has been scientifically proven to be psychologically addictive. For example, when a person becomes enamored with a partner, or when that partner begins to demonstrate an interest in the partner, the person will experience multiple forms of affect, including lust, anxiety, and envy, which heighten his or her physiological responses. However, once those initial feelings of love are satisfied, these feelings subside as the desire for the new partner subsides, leaving the person to experience only the euphoric feelings he experienced at the beginning of the relationship.

The love language of humans is probably unique among all the animal species, as most people only communicate using one or two emotions, such as love, fear, or excitement, regardless of the other person or creature involved in the relationship. This means that, whether or not the relationship is sexual in nature, everyone experiences love in a different way, as distinct as how two people in same-sex relations may feel love, or the way one may feel sad while another may feel happy. The nature of these feelings and emotions, however, is highly dependent on the kind of relationship they are involved in, as is the nature of the individuals involved. In fact, it is this very individuality that can make the love language uniquely different and more interesting than any other language.

In fact, one of the best ways to discover the right kind of love style for you is to simply ask yourself how you personally feel when you are in your partner’s presence. What kind of intense feelings do you have? Is it lust, or is it other emotions such as trust or concern? If it is the latter, then the kind of love style you should be exploring is one that is characterized by these same feelings of caring and trust when your partner is present, as this would be the most likely love style for a long-term relationship.